MARCY'S TRAVEL BLOG-- REMEMBERING! THE PASSENGER FROM HELL!

This post is a repeat- by request!

Back in the 1960's and early 1970's passenger travel was different in so many ways!  Passengers dressed in Business attire or nice suits and dresses!  We Stewardesses were trained to handle many things, but handling "pats on the rear" or drunks was quite a grey area!  We were pretty much on our own to handle things the best we could!    

On this particular Summer morning we were heading up to Northern Michigan from Detroit with a total of five stops!

As I stood at the top of the stairs greeting passengers as they boarded I noticed a beautiful middle aged lady coming up the stairs.  Her hair and makeup was perfect, her royal blue Summer dress was beautiful!  I remember thinking I'd like to be "put together" like her!

As she presented me with her boarding pass she ordered a double vodka on the rocks with a water back! (Her boarding pass showed she was going all the way to the last stop, Marquette, Michigan!)  I found her beverage order a bit startling, since it was around 8 a.m.!  I smiled and let her know I'd be serving beverages after take-off.  Normally I tried to get the passengers coffee before take-off, especially if the flight wasn't full. (This was before we had to pick up all serving items before take-off)

As I served the pre-departure coffee the woman reminded me of her vodka order. As I leaned towards her to let her know alcohol beverages would be served once we were air born I noticed- she already smelled a bit of the drink!  Hmm.

Once in the air I did give her the beverage of choice- then passed the coffees and juices the rest of the passengers wanted.  We had about 20 passengers on board, less than half full.  As I got to the front to serve the last of the passengers I noticed that the "Vodka" woman had joined another passenger, a handsome man with salt and pepper hair and a beautiful grey suit.  He didn't look too pleased.  She was leaning a bit TOO close!

That didn't last long.  As I started picking up the cups and glasses she got up and followed behind me, telling the passengers she was a "Stewardess Wanna Be"! She even imitated me!  Lord help me!

After our second take-off my task seemed to be trying to keep this lady in her seat!  I brought beverages to the cockpit, filled them in on my "problem passenger" of the day (which they seemed to find hilarious) and headed back down the isle in time to see her pouring herself another drink in my galley!  Oh God!

On the third leg of the flight she spent her time telling anyone who would listen about her life, family, and many marriages.  At least that's what I think she was saying.  I couldn't quite understand her by this point!

I finally asked the cockpit to keep the seatbelt sign on- thinking this would keep her in her seat!  WRONG!  I sat her down, buckled her in, gently telling her it was time to sit.  She patted my face, telling me how pretty I was, and that she loved me!

But when I walked into the galley I heard that familiar slurred speech right behind me!  She was saying something about feeling unwell!  Just as I turned around it happened! She lost her cookies!  Yep-  all over Both of us!

For just a moment, in my imagination I had my hands around her throat! But- NO! Can't do that!  I probably spent a full minute staring at this crazy drunk lady!  This can't be happening!!  I grabbed towels and soda water to clean myself off-and- of course a sick bag for her!

I have a weak stomach - so spent a lot of energy trying not to follow her lead and loose my own stomach contents! "Please God!"  I'm doing my best to clean myself up- since I still had a flight back home--with passengers--who would not only see my uniform was a mess, but smell it as well!  This was a one day trip, so I had no change of clothes!

The passengers that had been sitting near her now moved to empty seats towards the front- to get away from the both of us, I imagine!

The woman was now crying, softly at first, but by the time we made our fourth landing she was wailing!  I actually had one passenger tell me as he deplaned that he'd pray for me! Yes! Needed that!

We were still on the ground when here she comes to the front of the plane and straight into the cockpit!  The smell alone got the pilot's attention! She begged the pilots to get her luggage so she could change because she had had a little "accident"!  And that's exactly what happened!  We only had a handful of passengers headed for the last stop so finding her bag was simple.  The Copilot handed her the luggage, she grabbed a change of outfits and went into the bathroom. I'm still working on my own "outfit" at this point!  I had a hard time getting her out of the bathroom for takeoff! My God!  Only one more leg of this trip with her!  Please, God!  No more craziness!

After takeoff she spent that short flight brushing her teeth and putting on makeup.  Her now not so beautiful dress was put in a plastic bag. She did ask for one last drink.  My answer was NO!

We landed in Marquette, Michigan!  Believe me, I was looking forward to this landing for most of the morning!!  It felt like that flight with That passenger was Never going to end! Whew!

As the woman deplaned she shook my hand and handed me a $20 for "Dry Cleaning" she said.  We weren't suppose to take money or tips from passengers!

I KEPT THE $20!!!

Some memories are hysterical when recalling and retelling, just not when it's happening!!

Until next time, Dear Readers!  Remember! Life Is Indeed An Adventure, Even When It's A Smelly, Bumpy Ride!!