MARCY'S FLIGHT NUN TRAVEL BLOG- MY NIGHTMARE PASS RIDING PARENTS!

For those "Non-airline" folk- a little insight.  We use to be able to travel free or at a reduced rate on passes that was available for ourselves, our children, spouse, and parents.  It was "standby"- meaning you only got on if a seat was available. Now- about my Mother and Step-Father. An additional note- my step-father was a Railroad engineer, so we as his family also got to ride the rails for free. However, rail travel and air travel was more than just a little different!

 How does one "school" their parents on the rules concerning riding on passes?!  I certainly tried!  The first time my parents took advantage of riding on passes provided by yours truly- I went to great lengths to explain the the step by step procedures.  I could tell they were only half listening! Dress in business attire- wait patiently to be called to board the flight- IF a seat was available. And for God sake, obey the security rules and mind your manners!

They were traveling from Mason City, Iowa (via Ozark Airlines) to Chicago.  Because they were totally intimidated by Chicago's Ohare airport, I agreed to hop on a flight after my trip and meet them in Chicago- walking them to their next flight. (That proved to be a mistake- since they then expected it every time!) They were then heading to Fort Lauderdale, Florida via American Airlines.

All seemed to be going well-- at first. My trip into Detroit arrived on time.  I successfully boarded the flight to Chicago that would get me there in time to meet their Ozark flight. Greeting their flight in Ohare proved to be the easy part!

Now- this was just after new security happened- following hijacking attempts. You had to go through a security section where they checked your carry on luggage.  It was nothing like today! However, they did have some strict rules, including not joking about anything that could be taken as a threat! 

My step-father, being what one would call "penny pinching" decided to bring some food along- namely a loaf of his homemade bread and a stick of butter- which he carried in a shaving kit!  As the security lady looked inside the kit she asked "Is That Real!?"- to which my step-father replied "Don't worry!  I only baked a gun inside! Ha ha!"

Her eyes got huge as she looked from him to me!  Thank God I was still in uniform!  I'm flashing my ID badge at her while loudly scolding my step-father!  "Not funny, Dad! What are you thinking! Look at that sign!  It says those sort of comments will cost you upwards of $1000 plus a night in jail for that joke! Do you want to spend that sort of money?!"  My step-father's reply was that I needed to show some respect to my parent and not talk to him that way! (Oh God Help Me!)

The security person looked at me with a certain amount of pity, passed a metal detector wand over the bread- and said she'd have to poke a hole in the bread- to which my step-father weakly replied- "Please don't!  It'll ruin the bread!" She passed us through.  I wish I could say that was the end of the nightmare- but no. (While all this is happening my Mother was doing her best to distance herself from the situation!)

Three steps away from security and what does my step-father say? "Geez!  You can't even say Hi Jack! around here!"  I looked back at security, fully expecting to see guards ready to haul him away!  The lady that passed us through just shook her head and sighed!

On to the boarding area.  Eventually my folks names were called.  They were given First Class seats!  My step-father asked what First Class was- to which I replied to get onboard and find out!  What happened after that was told by way of my mother.

Free drinks were given in First Class.  The word "free" was my step-father's friend! So- he imbibed! He started to feel really good! He tried to stop the First Class Stewardess to tell her all about me!  Another few drinks and he thought it was time to witness to her and try to save her soul!  My mother looked out the window and pretended she didn't know him!

The return flight was a morning flight with Champagne in First Class- which is again where they were seated!  My step-father flirted with the Stewardess, telling her that she should be in movies!  My mother was ready to throttle him! She probably gave the poor Stewardess looks that could kill! That's the saga of my parent's first pass riding experience! 

My mother was, by all counts multi-phobic! I found out that getting "lost" was one of those phobias! Once - she was supposed to go from Iowa to Detroit (by way of Chicago) to visit me.  I was coming off of a three day trip and would arrive in time to greet her flight in Detroit. But she wasn't on the flight!! Checking with an agent I found out there was plenty of seats  available.  I got concerned!

I finally got her paged at the Ohare airport. She was mad as a wet hen! She couldn't find the NorthCentral gates, no one would help her- and she was going home!! I also got chewed out for not being in Chicago to walk her to her connecting flight!  (The fact that I was working didn't seem to enter into her equation!) She was ticked off and scared- which may account for her lack of logic.

Of course, it couldn't just end there.  Come to find out the Ozark flight going back to Iowa was full!  And there were no more flights to Detroit!  She was going to have to spend the night in Chicago! Helping her long distance was NOT fun! (I was parenting my parent!) She vowed she would never fly on a pass again!  She did, but not for a long time, and never again alone!

So that was my parents!  Oh my!! I wonder if anyone else had as much trouble with their parents as I did!  As time passed they got a bit better at pass riding, but I'll never forget that first time trying to get my step-father through security without getting arrested!  Or having them banned from ever flying on American again! Or having to fly to wherever just to walk them from one flight to another!! Yep- I had high maintenance parents! I often wonder, looking at my family- where did my independent nature come from! (I think from necessity!)

Until next time, Dear Readers!

Life Is Indeed An Adventure!  And Schooling Parents On Something New Is An Adventure In Itself!